Words that honour, words that hurt

Many autistic people say “autistic person”, not “person with autism”. Identity-first language treats autism as part of who someone is, the way you might say “a Deaf person” — not a bolted-on condition.

Person-first language (“person with autism”) is still used in some clinics and by some families. It is not wrong to use if that is what the person in front of you asks for. The rule is simple: follow the person, not a style guide.

Phrases that quietly do harm: “suffers from autism”, “high-functioning”, “low-functioning”, “everyone’s a little autistic”, and calling a parent a warrior as if their child were a battle.

Functioning labels flatten a whole person into a convenience. Someone can write an essay and still be unable to speak in a noisy room. Support needs shift with context. Describe the need, not a rank.